| He couldn't believe it; five grueling months, all Ayato could think at night was how he missed home, how he missed Suzuku. There were times they'd just lay there together and stare at each other. He'd place a hand on the side of her face, brushing over her cheek; it brought him warmth, comfort, some sense in a world that made none; in a world that wanted him dead. She was his only way of hope in this hellhole... well, that hell. As much as he tried to recreate that warmth, that light, it always vanished from his grasp. Leaving him alone in that dark, cold apartment. Every night, Ayato struggled to keep himself together, hell, at first he couldn't even sleep. But... as he learned more about where the hell he was, the less painful it was. He couldn't get her out of his mind, there wasn't a minute he didn't stop thinking about her. All the Nakamura wanted was to go back in time, and relive the moments he had with her and only her. But, he couldn't, he didn't know how to nor did he know what to do with his life now. The reason he had for even trying so hard to live, it was gone. No... He was gone from her, and there was nothing he feared more... besides her death. Now, he couldn't keep his word, he couldn't forgive himself.
That night, like every other night, the man cried himself to sleep in silence. A pain in his chest, a void in his heart that he didn't know how to close. Hours passed like minutes as, like every night before, he dreamt of being with her, stroking her hair, staring into those golden hues, whispering sweet nothings until he got a smile from her. Leaning in to kiss her, Ayato closed his eyes, only to see an alarm blaring and the lack of Suzuku. Ayato felt devoid of life, his life was colorless without her... yeah, it was better than fearing that any moment could be his last... but this, it was a special kind of hell that he just had to tread through and hope for a miracle. Pulling himself out of bed, the man turned off his early as hell alarm. Letting out a sigh that was soul-crushing in itself, he walked himself to take a shower and start this wake-up routine. Minutes later, drying himself off with a towel, the man slid on his work clothes for another long day. It was what the Kuronmeru would have wanted, for him to at least try to live a normal life. He started only to stop and fail there... at least here, he could keep some semblance of a promise.
After the clothes, all that mattered was the teeth and hair, he usually had breakfast at the cafe, that was his new normal now. Well, he had to accept so much as his new normal now. The scents were easily the worst to get used to. He had a drive when it came to Suzuku, here... it was seemingly on a cycle and there were many who tried to entice him. He'd lose himself, get so dangerously close to forgetting about her, but he'd always catch himself last minute, he didn't even need to activate Shinobutō to push them away - sometimes more violently than he should - it activated like a defense mechanism. Due to this cruel introduction to scent, he retrofitted his old mask to act as what is known as a 'Muzzle'. It was weird he had to wear one, but it was even weirder that it was normal for some individuals. The use of these 'muzzles' was exactly what he had figured out. He felt like he was reinventing the wheel here, but the knowledge of Muzzles helped a lot when it came to Ruts. It felt akin to losing his mind, giving in to his inner, darkest desires. It hurt like hell the first few cycles, it was something he didn't care for nor want but it was like he was compelled to mate even more with any woman that caught his attention.
Especially at work with a variety of people coming all over, he made sure to keep it on his person at all times. He rather liked his job, sure, making drinks all day was not the most illustrious thing to do, but it calmed him. Once the basic hygiene was done, he jogged his way to the Central District his workplace was located. There were cars about and while they interested Ayato, he heard you needed some kind of license to get them. He didn't need that kind of expense, he was already at odds getting used to everything, throwing in optional things would only bring panic. Arriving at his workplace, he was pleasantly surprised to open an unlocked door. "Kazu-san... morning, nice to see you opened for once." A deflated but sarcastic remark was thrown. "Ayato-san, you still can make that sarcasm even when you sound like someone shot your dog in front of you? Are you ever going to, ya'know, cheer up?" The Nakamura looked down to the floor before walking over to his station. "I... I hope so... Let's just get through this day." Ayato leaned against the table just in front of the sink. Hands pressed against the edge as fingers tapped against the wood underneath.
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