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Author Topic: Eljas Simonen [Omega]  (Read 43 times)

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Offline Jazcat

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Re: Eljas Simonen [Omega]
« on: September 10, 2022, 03:19:42 pm »
Alright, let's get started. The bio you have is good but there are some mistakes that need to be addressed and fixed. Once they are, let staff know so one of us can recheck it and approve it. So I'll list what needs to be fixed/have questions about and offer some suggestions. ^^

1. Sexuality - To start off, the additional label of this character being a demisexual isn't really necessary. Some things can be left vague as you plot it out over time. But the "homoromantic" part doesn't change what a demisexual person is. It's like repeating twice that this person doesn't show an immediate interest in someone without that emotional connection. If this is still the case for Eljas then I'd advise leaving his sexuality at "demisexual". It saves people who don't really focus or know about a lot of these labels time from having to bug you and ask you questions or they look up themselves and think that it doesn't make sense. It does but it just explains it twice. We had this issue before where I'd inquired with another person that simply couldn't explain what a "homosexual homoromantic" was without it still sounding like gay with extra steps. That's not being mean or offensive, only explaining how it sounds. So, I do hope my offering this suggestion to you is okay. I'd rather people not end up repeating themselves twice in different ways just to explain something or get a point across. Don't overcomplicate your character's sexuality. If he's demisexual that's fine, we don't really need to know whether his attraction is romantic or sexual. Again, you can be vague about it and plot it out as you write more with your character and it can be seen through your writing. If that makes sense. ^^

2. Occupation - Does this bookstore he works for has a name? If so, you can make up any name for it. It doesn't have to be a place that's already established on the forum where a sub-board exists for it. Want to make sure that if he does work for the bookstore that is established, you need to put the name of that bookstore next to his position for that company. If it isn't, feel free to make up any name you want just so long as we can put it in the job claims thread properly.

3. School - I know you put N/A here but the bio reads as if he's still attending classes. It is fine if he is but you need to specify the university he attends, even if it's one that's not a sub-board, his year and major. If he isn't attending school and he completed his courses, then the bio also needs to have that information addressed somewhere in the last paragraph or a new one.

4. Face Claim - So we do allow for you guys to draw your own artwork but as it states, you have to tell us who drew the artwork. Since you drew the artwork, that's basically what you'd put here in the face claim area. That you are the artist and we'll make sure to put it right like so in the face claims thread. ^^ We like to give artists credit for their artwork. Whether your use your own or someone else's that isn't an established anime character, we'd rather put a name to the artwork. If that makes sense.

5. History - Everything outside of what I mentioned in the school area is the only issue with the character's backstory. Want you as the creator of your character to clarify whether he is still attending school or he finished his courses and is just simply working. So that's the only clarification needed. Everything else about it looks great.

So, these are the issues I've found with the bio. It's a really good bio and the issues aren't a whole lot. Once you fix everything, as I said, ping the staff roles and another staff will look over your bio. Good luck! ^^





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