twenty • homosexual • beta • kaibara university student • distant & distrusting • biography Yukimi, Kaoru is a young man that was once kind to others, who only wanted to be liked as well as loved by anyone that would just be nice to him. Sure, like anyone, he had trouble forming bonds due to him being a Beta but he never thought much about his secondary gender the way others had. As of recent, he is not the same person anymore. Due to a breakup with his former lover who admitted to not genuinely being in love with him, he ended up sinking into a depressing and dropping out of university for a while. He's now standoffish, doesn't do well in large crowds around others, on top of staying to himself as he prefers to not draw unwanted attention to himself. The things he once enjoyed such as making plush toys and cooking, he retains them but not in the same way he did before. He used to do them out of kindness as well as hoping to break the ice with others he struggled to talk to. Now, he uses making plush toys as a coping mechanism for his depression and just cooks food for himself to eat.
He also used to love wearing female clothing. Because he found the clothes to be comfortable as well as pretty. Many were not receptive to this behavior from a Beta and believed that he was doing it to gain attention, trying so hard to be an Omega. When in fact, this was not the case. This was something Kaoru had done since he was a child but he no longer has an enjoyment for it. Instead, he ends up having anxiety and panic attacks when surrounded by female clothing. He no longer views himself the same way he did and just wears gender-neutral and baggy clothing. He is on medication for his depression and anxiety which he shows to hate taking them. But he doesn't want to be locked up and force-fed pills so he takes them. He returned to school at Kaibara and is living on his own and working. He still has no friends and now doesn't put focus or thought into finding a mate as he once had before.
Kaoru never had anyone that he could call a real friend. At least, not originally to start out with. His only known acquaintance was his former lover, Mahiro Onizaki. Outside of him, he didn't have any friends. There wasn't much he had in common with a lot of people and those around him were heavily focused on the societal secondary gender system. So instead of viewing Kaoru as a person with a personality, they viewed him as nothing more than a useless Beta trying too hard to be liked. All he wanted was friends, someone that would just be nice to him and like him for who he was, rather than expecting him to act his secondary gender and know his place. It didn't help that when he was dating his ex, his friends were saying cruel things to his face and behind his back. So no, Kaoru doesn't hold much trust in people. He's wary of others. Anyone that tries to compliment him Kaoru thinks they're lying and making fun of him over being genuine. Despite his issues, I would like for Kaoru to make some friends. Someone that would take the time to get to know him rather than insult the
shit out of him because he's a well-known character in the eyes of others. I'd rather not have a repeat of that. This version of the character still has academic issues but they're not so bad that he can't make decent grades.
He can just be easily distracted by whatever is going on with him and it causes him to focus heavily on his problems and less on other things that are important. He does need friends his own age and I'm gonna start out by saying, for right now, his friends need to be human. Just for right now. One is an implied NPC friend that's human but on the forum canon-wise, he doesn't have any friends. I want to slowly ease him into being friends with characters that aren't human/have powers. However, because his medication makes him pay attention to everything and everyone around him, he's "aware" in a sense of what's going on depending on the character I'm having him interact with. And if they have anything going on with them and attempt to try and tell him things like he should move on from his problems when they haven't done the same for themselves, he will lash out at said characters for it. It is clear that Kaoru is an emotionally damaged character and it will take time to bring him out of that. So putting it out there that he doesn't work well with characters telling him to "get over it" or "talk it out" right out the gate. Because he's not going to do it. He'd tell you where to go first before doing so. A character like him takes time to rebuild the trust he once had in people. That is what he needs. If anyone is interested, drop your ideas below or in PMs/DMs.
Kaoru both didn't and did realize the trail of people that disliked him. Most of it pertains to his interests and with others, it was his secondary gender, something he couldn't control. It's obvious that Kaoru doesn't like anyone who is cruel to others. He doesn't like violence, so nobody will see him getting into any physical altercations with anyone. Though, given that he is now on medication, those impulses might surface because he'd be running off emotional adrenaline. I didn't want to put enemies since people just being Dicks aren't really enemies, they're just idiots. It's also the other reason I said I just want to start out with him having human friends right now. Given the previous versions of the character, I think putting him through supernatural-related plots again would break this character emotionally to the point he'd shut down. So, I put rivals instead in the hopes of forming something with that. I am open to the ideal of rivals but since he isn't academically capable of being in the top ten in terms of test scores, this area has to be minimized to love rivals and rivals based on anything pertaining to his interests. It won't be a heavy focus since he isn't looking for love or a mate, other rival ideas are more than welcome if they work for the character. So if anyone has any ideas, feel free to toss them.
Kaoru has had crushes before but due to how many treated him, they never lasted long. The only crush that went somewhere for a while was his relationship with his former lover, an Alpha named Mahiro. He enjoyed the time the two of them spent together on occasion which is how these feelings surfaced. He eventually admitted his feelings to Mahiro and they began dating. Kaoru showed obvious signs of being in love with the idea of being in love. So much, that he was blinded by the fact that Mahiro didn't develop any romantic feelings for him despite the two of them dating. He wanted them to go back to being friends but it was Kaoru who chose to distance himself from him because he was unable to be friends with him because of his feelings. Many disliked the idea of their relationship, feeling that Mahiro could do better. He disagreed with this and told them to mind their own business. Those who know me, are aware that I am picky when it comes to pairings. If anyone is interested, we can discuss some ideas but to be upfront, I don't need someone that's just as doom and gloom as the character trying to pair with him.
Not that it's boring, but it's more depressing for two depressed people to be together. I would like for Kaoru to work through his issues to where he can trust himself to love again. He needs someone that will genuinely love him and not yank him around. I doubt I may play him having moments of weakness where he'll have a crush on guys. More or less playing this all by ear and with him being indifferent, that's probably not going to work out. It all depends on the characters he interacts with. He has a complex with both Alphas and Omegas. This complex with Alpha stems from his relationship with Mahiro and the complex with Omegas comes from him seeing how so many people want them, on top of being aggravated hearing Omegas say they don't want to mate or be with anyone and turn around and have someone sometime later. That bugs the hell out of him and in Kaoru's eyes, all Omegas are liars. That said any character can attempt to
try and interact with Karou regardless of secondary gender. Just keep in mind if your characters are Alphas or Omegas, he will lash out at them more than he would other Betas.